unbelievablyinteresting

Young-il Ahn's Audiobook (mp3 + e-book)

2011-08-24T16:37:00.000-04:00

I'm really digging Ahn Young Il's audiobook from My Korean Store. In addition to the hours and hours of free content TTMIK has created, they have some interesting, inexpensive materials for sale as well.

산모의 평령연령

2011-08-24T16:08:00.002-04:00

YTN News reports that the average age of first time mothers is now over 30.

"여성들의 결혼 연령이 높아지면서 지난해 첫 아이를 낳은 산모의 평균연령이 처음으로 30세를 넘었습니다."

연령 (年齡) = age.
(Specifically, it seems to indicate a particular age, as in the above case, the age at which a woman first gives birth. If anyone has a more specific definition, I would love to hear).
산모 (産母) = mother (산모의 is maternal).
평균 (平均) = average

"통계청은 지난해 산모의 평균 출산연령이 31.26세를 기록해 재작년보다 0.29세 높아졌다고 밝혔습니다."

통계청 = National Statistics Office
출산 (出産) = birth, childbirth
기록 = record, write down
재작년 = the year before last

결혼 이후 출산까지 걸린 시간은 평균 3.52년으로 재작년보다 0.12년 증가했습니다.

증가하다 = increase, growth

지난해 출생아 수는 47만 200명으로 재작년보다 5.7%, 2만 5천 300명 늘어 3년만에 증가세로 돌아섰습니다.

증가세 (增價稅 - 稅 is tax or duty, as in 세금) increase
돌아서다 = turn around (I always forget this one)

반말하지마!

2011-08-23T16:43:00.003-04:00

"반말 하지마"‥몽골 근로자가 중국인에 칼부림....신기하다고 생각해서 번역해 보려고 합니다.

Somebody referenced this in a comment at the Marmot Hole and it sounded like interesting study material. There's a full translation here, I'm just going to include a few sentences.

중국인 회사 동료를 살해하려 한 혐의(살인미수)로 몽골인 불법체류자 K(34)씨를 붙잡아 조사하고 있다고 밝혔다.

A Chinese illegal alien was charged with the attempted murder of his Mongolian co-worker and is being investigated. .

혐의 charge, suspicion.
살인미수 attempted murder

... 회사 숙소에서 동료 중국인 H(19)씨에게 흉기를 휘둘러 다치게 한 혐의를 받고 있다.

숙소 living quarters
흉기 weapon
휘두르다 brandish, swing

K씨는 경찰에서 "나이도 한참 어린 H씨가 자꾸 내게 반말을 하는 것에 화가 났다"고 말했다

한참 a long time (modifying adjective)

이 회사의 한 관계자는 "H씨가 평소 한국말을 잘하지는 못했다"고 전했다.

H 님, 한국말을 열심히 공부하셔야죠 ^^

공부법

2011-08-22T22:14:00.000-04:00

I love using free and interesting native content to study Korean. YTN News has the full text to a lot of their video clips, which makes it a great study resource.

I found a free browser plugin called Freecorder which lets you capture the audio streaming from your browser.   It has a handy convert tool and a couple of different options for recording format. I like to have the audio files on my MP3 player and listen to them after I've studied the script for a while.

Unfortunately, if there are any buffering or timeout issues with the audio stream it will break the recording into smaller clips. When that happens, I mix the clips together I with Audacity. It's a hassel, but it gets the job done.

I like to import the articles into Lingq and use that to learn the new vocabulary (requires a basic subscription to do this). It has an embedded dictionary function which uses Google's translator.
It's far from perfect, but for me it's much easier than looking up everything in Naver.

If you know of some better tools or resources, I'd love to hear about them. 열심히 공부합시다^^

come to Jesus

2010-06-18T12:04:00.001-04:00

lemon tree

2010-06-18T11:49:00.001-04:00

don't know why

2010-06-18T11:32:00.001-04:00

cry me a river

2010-06-18T10:55:00.000-04:00

timeinabottle

2010-06-18T10:34:00.001-04:00

yesterday

2010-06-18T10:23:00.001-04:00

buddy holly

2010-06-18T10:10:00.001-04:00

takeout concert from a while ago

2010-06-18T09:43:00.000-04:00

I'm finally getting around to posting the videos of our April 30th concert online. Enjoy.

learning with literature

2010-06-03T08:19:00.001-04:00

These days I read a lot of different blogs about language learning and language learning methods (like this one and this one). One thing they all seem to agree on is the importance of reading the language. So I'm trying to read a lot of Korean. I've found that children's books have the perfect balance of simple grammar, new vocabulary and interesting content.

I checked this book out of the Library at my school. It's called"재주 많은 다섯 친구" (The Five Super Talented Friends). I was told it's based on an old Korean folk tale.

They story begins with some old people who are unable to have children so a monk tells them to bury a pot in the ground for a couple months. They do that and then they pull this kid out. They call him "Pot Boy." His talent is being really strong. He decides to leave home after a while and meets a guy who can blow a powerful wind out of his nose. His name is "Nose Breath Boy."

They meet a third super talented person who can pee a waterfall. He's called "Urine Boy."

They meet two other guys, one who carries a boat around on his back, and one who has huge feet and wears iron boots. They are respectively titled "Boat Boy" and "Iron Boy." So they're all traveling together for a while. Unfortunately the house where they stop for the night is full of tigers (!!!)

Instead of eating them, the tigers trick the five friends into a building a tower out of logs and then they light it on fire when the guys are at the top.

I'll bet you can guess which guy saves the day...

Anyways, I'm becoming fairly convinced you have to become a child again to really learn anything, particularly a new language.

정리하기

2010-06-03T08:04:00.000-04:00

So I've tried to re-arrange my blog to make it YET EVEN more interesting (which is amazing, because it's already unbelievably interesting, right?), accessible, and representative of the stuff I'm up to.

I'm intending to put up some things related to my Korean language and culture studies as well - we'll see if that actually happens.

Holiday

2010-06-02T18:00:00.001-04:00

Wednesday was voting day in Korea, and here you usually get the whole day off. We went to the sea and took a ferry over to a small island where we played volleyball, ate 회 (raw fish) and enjoyed beautiful weather and scenery.

k-pop

2010-05-13T18:49:00.000-04:00

recently

2010-05-07T02:40:00.000-04:00

Wednesday was a Children's Day, and despite the fact that I'm quite obviously an adult I got the day off. Along with Lewis and Steve, I went hiking/sightseeing with a group of friends from church.

These are some of the friends from church we went hiking with.

Lewis ended up getting pretty burned.

I went on a field trip with the 4th grade students, and we saw some neat parks with great views of Seoul. We also visited a greenhouse containing a large collection of desert flora.

Visiting Seoul

2010-03-28T01:46:00.001-04:00

우리 남동생 (my little brother)

2010-03-25T09:23:00.000-04:00

Of course everyone wants to be proud of his family, especially if it's family that's a U.S. Marine. But to actually see a little brother standing with unquestioned integrity as a man among boys is something else. It's not surprising - the quality's always been there. But it is overwhelming.

The other guy is Haggarty, I think he's one of Eric's roommates. We'll be hanging out more this weekend, hopefully seeing some of the sights around the city.

A Magic Cup Ride

2010-03-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Thanks Kristin!

of late

2010-03-18T18:22:00.001-04:00

It was warm for almost days and then not anymore.

It was my second week in college. I stared coolly across the top of a blueberry Italian soda, reflecting on thoughts too deep for most people to understand.

He stopped suddenly, a sense of danger sounding through his brain like a Klaxon. There on the ground, immediately recognizable to his trained eye, was the soft shell of newly shed skin. He shuddered. The beast could be anywhere now.

늘사랑병원

2010-03-02T17:03:00.000-05:00

For over six months now, Lewis and I have been going to the hospital (nursing home) on Tuesday nights for a short service/Bible study. But since we're starting classes at 서강 this week, yesterday was the last day for ten weeks.

The jacket-wearing couple next to Lewis and me are the Sun-ho's. I don't actually know their names, but Lewis and I like to call them that because their daughter's name is Sun-ho.

The zealous looking man (leaning forward) is Brother Jacob, the missionary who invited Lewis and I to start coming to the hospital. He's really helped us get involved in the church, and given us some good opportunities for ministry.

Jesus Paid It All

2010-02-27T08:29:00.000-05:00

David, Lewis, Steven and I played for the young people's outreach night this Saturday.

Mostly 안산 캠프

2010-02-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

The foreigner guys getting ready to make some foreign music (that's David with his back to the camera - he's Korean but most of the time he counts as a foreigner).

Eating dinner at the camp.

STEVE!!! wearing traditional Korean 한복. Unlike the brightly colored silk stuff you usually see, this 한복 is pretty tough - kind of like Korean Dickies.

A couple foreign guys who have been in Korea for a long time... the guy with the beard is Doug, the missionary gentleman from our church. The other white guy is John, who's also been a missionary in Korea for quite some time, but he's from a different church so I don't know him as well.

Swirling mists in the somber hue of morning...

2010-02-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

He peered out the window at the end of the hall. Strange gray forms loomed in the distance: a chicken farm, a church, and further on nameless towers that blended into fog.

Below, a field of snow lay white and hung with dreary shadows...

The red figure of a man gleamed between bare branches, cutting the somber backdrop like 한복 on Goth night. His flashing glance was a warning... an ill omen... of something...

... But Lewis set his gaze grimly and stepped forward. His resolve, fixed as though by eternal command, would not be broken. No spell or enchantment could undo the force of his will.

I've got nothing...

2010-02-21T19:44:00.000-05:00

I know most of my readership is familiar with Lewis's (one 's' or two? I can never remember) blog already, but lately he's been a lot more faithful with posting so I'm just going to link his site so you can see what we've been up to lately.

http://www.lewisknundrum.com/february10blog.htm

robots

2010-02-11T21:44:00.000-05:00

Justifiably, Korea has an intense fascination with robots. Despite their constant struggle against domestic margianalization, Korea's robot population has already acheived remarkable successes intellectually and artistically. Robots are working to expand their dominiance in education as well.

We only ask one question, and it's one Koreans are refusing to ask for themselves: Are they giving robots too much power?

Family Christmas

2010-01-22T00:41:00.000-05:00

good coffee

2009-11-30T07:48:00.000-05:00

You have to understand how much instant coffee we've been drinking. Only a few days ago Lewis and I were heartily singing the praises of Maxim Gold. "It's actually not bad," I said. And it's not -not morally bad like sin or reheated coffee. But the fact is, we all know well and good that instant coffee is only a memory of coffee - the ghostlike existence of a brew that lived and died long ago. You can drink it all day long just to wind up with a coffee shaped hole in your heart or maybe stomach ulcers.

So this morning when tasted Intelligentsia for the first time in many long months, I was absolutely blown away. It was a caffeinated journey for my senses -a hike through hills of floral flavors and and valleys of nutty nuances I couldn't begin to describe. I had just one carefully rationed cup and the delightful impression it made on my palate remained with me throughout the day. Thank you ever so much, Laura. You have no idea how happy you made us.

Reflections

2009-11-19T03:17:00.000-05:00

Every month the educational office in our district (Uijeongbu) has something they call the "English Café." It's an opportunity for native English teachers in the area to get together with Korean teachers in a Korean cultural experience. I usually don't go, but this month's event was called "Extreme Taegwondo Musical."

They requested that we write a reflective essay afterward. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it sounded kind of like an assignment from the PCM class at MBI. In case there's any confusion, my somewhat garbled analogy is a complaint about the names-from-a-hat buddy system they enforced at the beginning of the event. Some of the Korean teachers didn't want to speak English so it made that situation a little uncomfortable. I don't think anyone else will read it so I'm posting it here. This is what I wrote:

Flashing lights, blaring sounds and extreme entertainment all tempered by a prelude of warm conversation and delicious food – these were the panorama of delights which awaited us upon attending the year’s final English Café.

I knew not what to expect, for I’d not forayed on previous adventures of the said company. Yet even had I an inkling of what was to come, my mind would not have been able to encompass the scope and vision of what would ensue with the evening’s activities. It may be an overstatement to cite the scriptures – “Eye has not seen nor has ear heard” – yet in my mind the similitude is not to be overlooked. Because no one can know quite what to expect of a situation before it is upon him.

Certain aspects of the English Café I enjoyed overwhelmingly, and any negativity conveyed in the proceeding thoughts should not preclude that no matter how slightly. To have enjoyed pleasant camaraderie with countrymen and diverse bearers of my mother tongue is a privilege I should be loathe to despise. Nonetheless, there were elements of the aforementioned nocturnal expedition, namely the mandatory and seemingly perfunctory social couplings, which did nothing to increase the joyfulness of our shindig but in fact were somewhat to the detriment. Invoking the medium of analogy, I imagine each member of the party as words in a sentence from a mid-nineteenth century Gothic novel. In no way would I want myself understood as obdurate towards those with whom I share a dissimilitude in etymology – for we are all but entries in a dictionary of common making and these deviations enliven our sultry prose in every way. Yet it cannot be overlooked that some words find themselves uncomfortable with their preordained literary citizenship (which is why we have such a detestable plethora of kitsch lining our bookshelves, newspaper stands and magazine racks). It is in no way the fault of the words themselves. Rather it is a result of an author's discombobulated thoughts or some vacuum of scribal proficiency. Let sentences be written naturally and freely, infusing a variety of words and ideas of their own accord and not from a misguided sense of necessity. That is my only contention, and I thought it bore mention as a constructive adjunct to the rest of my accolades.

But enough dull talk of prose. What of the free verse that followed; the fine flowing lines of thought and body merged with the voice and soul of music? Mellifluous? Yes! Obtuse? Perhaps somewhat! Campy? By all means, yes and yes. And one of right mind would not have had it any other way. For with such things there is no other way. I offer my thanks for the opportunity. In all sincerity I hope the oversight of these outings brought you much joy and blessing.

Pepero Day and other things more important

2009-11-11T06:10:00.000-05:00

While many among our readership are proudly and solemnly observing Veteran's Day, the Koreans have another tradition (albeit nontenured and not necessarily revered). November 11th is Pepero Day in Korea - an unabashedly commercial holiday which enables the Lotte conglomerate to cash in on the sale of Pepero.

Here's to you Kristin. I hope you have a great day, and that you don't mind too much our feeble musical tribute.

Will You Help Me, Please?

2009-11-08T06:44:00.000-05:00

The inspiration for this was The Good Samaritan. Unfortunately we lacked the costuming and actors necessary to reproduce the entire storyline. So we settled for a very basic plot, much lacking in the power and compelling morals of Jesus's parable. This is for our 6th grade chapter 12 lesson, "Will you help me, please?"

more of the same

2009-11-02T16:51:00.000-05:00

the show

2009-10-29T18:33:00.000-04:00

Lewis, Steven and I put on a show at the local coffee shop this past Wednesday. There was a great turnout, and everybody was super enthusiastic so it was really fun to play. Here's a link to Steve's Youtube channel where he posted some of the videos:

http://www.youtube.com/user/kewlness0#p/u/1/3HbpY7hNce0

(Please disregard my slightly out of tune tenor parts and accordion hacking, I'm sure it was much more amazing live).

Here's a link to Steve's Myspace as well, where you can check out more of his great music: http://www.myspace.com/stevenmorel Here's Lewis' site again too in case you've forgotten how to get there, or missed the last time I posted it: http://www.lewisknundrum.com/music.htm

a touch of color

2009-10-26T04:25:00.000-04:00

This is what it looked like when I walked home today. It's been gray skies mostly, but the trees have a touch of color that's nice to see. 가을냄새정말 좋아요.

a picture post

2009-10-23T10:13:00.001-04:00

Here are some pictures taken by our new friend Alex. He's the co-teacher of our other new friend, Steven the Canadian. Alex is a great help with learning Korean and he's super encouraging despite my incomprehensible pronunciation, minuscule vocabulary and non-existent grammatical structures .

Once I was a yangban (양반).

Another time we were models for trendy Korean jackets.

That tepee is just like what we used when I was a young Korean boy growing up in the village. We were much shorter back then or maybe there was just food in it, I don't remember.

The point of the teeter-totter jumping game is not to knock the other person off or to break his legs, I learned. You're just supposed to keep jumping. It didn't make sense until I found out it was a girl sport.

Is this your book?

2009-10-20T17:46:00.000-04:00

Is this your book? No, "The Stories of Anton Chekov" is not mine. In keeping with the subtle Russian themes, I tried using Rachmaninoff's third piano concerto as a film score. The melancholic folk melody and brooding accompaniment nicely underlined the tension we wanted to evoke in the "search" sequence. But in the end, it made the denouement feel somewhat preemptive. The drama speaks most clearly for itself against a backdrop of silence.

class materials

2009-10-18T18:02:00.000-04:00

Since Lewis, Steve and I all teach the same classes, we decided we could do each other a favor and make a video together. We're using the sentence form "I want to ____ ."

The official video for this lesson is this . Obviously, we are not attempting to improve on the original -which would be impossible- but rather provide supplemental material.

Speaking English

2009-09-26T06:03:00.000-04:00

I've got to say, I can speak English pretty well. I think it comes naturally to me, and I guess I've been doing it for as long as I can remember (missing from this video are the parts where I accidentally said "cheesebooger" instead of cheeseburger).

in other news

2009-09-22T10:59:00.000-04:00

Outside

2009-09-09T08:41:00.001-04:00

Here is a bit of the view outside my school. That's a chicken farm and church right next door. It smells really bad in the summer. The chicken farm I mean.

New Stuff

2009-09-09T08:32:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of my new classroom and office. One of the wings of the school was remodeled during vacation and now we have a bona fide English Zone.

back in the temperate zone

2009-08-11T09:57:00.000-04:00

The rain in Korea is much colder than in Saipan.

Siapan Day 9

2009-08-10T06:57:00.000-04:00

Here are a few more of Tami's classroom all decked out for the first day of classes.

Above is Tami and Auntie Debbie, who teaches 2nd Grade at the school. Below is Tami and her mom, also Debbie.

Saipan Day 8

2009-08-09T06:40:00.000-04:00

We had some beautiful weather the past few days, resulting in my sunburn and some nice scenery.

Tank Beach

2009-08-06T08:05:00.001-04:00

Tami's friend Emily and I were planning to go hiking at a place called Forbidden Island. Despite the name, people apparently go there all the time. But the roads were really bad owing to all the heavy rain we've had. We were driving a Ford Explorer and it started smoking as we climbed the last hill. So we turned around and went to Tank Beach instead. I'm not sure why it's called Tank Beach because there are no tanks anywhere.

There are two tanks over by the school, buried mostly underwater about one hundred yards off the shore. They got stuck in the sand when US forces attacked the Japanese in the Battle of Saipan. Tami and I swam out there Monday. While sitting on the tank my left foot was attacked by a crab.

Tami's Classroom

2009-08-04T21:14:00.000-04:00

Here's Tami (my friend from my Moody who lives in Saipan) in her 5th grade classroom. That they conduct classes entirely in English seems strange, but apparently they do that in English speaking places. Classes start on Monday, 8/10.

Saipan Day 2

2009-08-02T03:48:00.001-04:00

Saipan Day 1

2009-08-01T04:44:00.001-04:00

The North

2009-07-30T09:47:00.000-04:00

Today I came a mere stones throw from North Korea. Near a town called 반주 or 바주 or something they've built this observation deck so people can look through binoculars and try to see what's going on over there. Koreans talk a lot about unification and many are hoping the North and South will come together again someday. This observation place has all kinds of stuff from North Korea that you can buy. I was told most of it is overpriced and of inferior quality.

I like how mysterious it looks with all that fog. That's the fog of Communism, which is emitted from Kim Jung Il's mind. But there's no need to worry, because between pick-up games of basketball, these guys at this military base keep a watchful eye on the border.

Korea sends their tallest, strongest, and most awesome looking army guys to the military bases along the border.

Fan Death

2009-07-01T06:04:00.000-04:00

Anyone who reads the words "fan death" nowadays will probably assume it has something to do with Michael Jackson groupies slaying themselves for grief. It is in fact completely unrelated and more interesting. It is the reason that no well brought up Korean would ever dare sleep while a fan or air conditioner is running.

I heard about it from Lewis first, who had heard it mentioned by his co-teacher (aka Candy). I asked my co-teacher and she confirmed this fear with such heartfelt faith I suspect she would prefer sleeping in a room full of roaring lions to one with whirring fans.

Now, it's not that Koreans have an unusual tolerance for heat and humidity and developed these superstitions in disinterest. They are very unable to handle the heat. Since they can't sleep they go down to the rivers, drink 소주 and complain about the weather. The risk of sleeping with a fan or air conditioner is so perilous it's simply not an option.

Being the child of the enlightenment that I am, I questioned these beliefs. (Initially I also questioned the Korean tradition that 삼갑살 -kind of like a thick marinated bacon- clears pollutants from your respiratory system, but I decided I should eat it just to be safe).
The reasons given me by my co-teacher were almost identical with those outlined in Wikipedia article on Fan death. The first and most plausible sounding cause of fan death is dehydration excelled by use of a fan at already high temperatures. But in Korea this is not the most popular reason to fear fans. I too prefer imaging a fan-made vortex of air choking me with its anthropomorphic hands.

It doesn't add up that a country exporting hundreds of billions worth of electronics could be so uniformly sold on such an empirically unsound conviction. Maybe there's something to it? Maybe fan death really does happen all the time and we've just been lucky fools. But seeing as I already bought a fan, I think I'll just take my chances.

pop song

2009-06-07T17:27:00.000-04:00

Sometimes lyrical profundity and musical originality are overrated - at least that was the assumption when we had the urge to create this super poppy pop song:

http://www.lewisknundrum.com/away4.mp3

On an unrelated note, Lewis posted some more pictures recently. If you want to see some pictures from church and around our neighborhood, check out Lewis' blog page:

http://www.lewisknundrum.com/koreablog.htm

More English Festival Pics

2009-06-02T10:28:00.000-04:00

This is a stereotype, but I'm going to say it anyway: Koreans like adjectives. The teachers' manual for our curriculum often indicates the children should participate pleasantly, eagerly, or happily.

English Festival

2009-05-31T08:31:00.000-04:00

Happy Memorial Day

2009-05-26T07:53:00.000-04:00

After eating the first few hotdogs, we realized they had removable plastic wrappings. The second batch was much easier to chew.

Teachers' Day

2009-05-18T04:26:00.000-04:00

To ensure that we the pedagogical workforce of Korea do not forget how incredibly awesome we are, we celebrate Teachers' Day. This is the day when students express their gratitude for the remarkable education they have received. English class provides a particularly unique opportunity for them to express their thanks through the application of their classwork. See below.

In case you wondered, a teacher's attractiveness seems to be a point of tremendous significance for Koreans. Both Lewis and I have been assured repeatedly that we are, in fact, quite handsome. Amidst the teachers and students (from our respective schools) who've seen us both I've heard the debate still wages as to who is more handsome. Regardless of that outcome, this seems to be a definite amelioration of "who is less repulsive."

Lest you worry yourselves about the vanity of Lewis and myself, fear not. We each received a cold reality check last week when my co-teacher matter-of-factly stated that my face looked very similar to an egg whereas Lewis's more closely resembled a donkey.

Dobongsan

2009-05-09T17:58:00.000-04:00

church pictures

2009-05-04T20:34:00.000-04:00

Here is our Church's youth page. You can see photos (quite an extensive collection - Koreans love taking pictures) of the retreat on was on this weekend.

http://www.overcomer.or.kr/youth.htm

NOTE: If you scroll to the bottom of this page and click on one of the four photos there, it should take you to pics from this past weekend.

for Emily with gratitude...

2009-05-04T00:24:00.000-04:00

This is not the rap (it is still being born) but here's a little something to hold you over.

together at last

2009-04-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

What a happy marriage this is.

for Casey

2009-04-24T09:09:00.000-04:00

Some swords.

History, Mountain Climbing, Seoul

2009-04-13T08:06:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, 4/11, Mr. Lee from our church asked Lewis and I if we wanted to go mountain climbing. We agreed, and it turned out to be a lot more than just mountain climbing. First, we visited the Memorial Hall of Korean patriot Ahn Choong-Keun (neither my spelling or the Wiki article's is incorrect; the transliteration is just a bit arbitrary). The museum was located in a park at the foot of the mountain. As you can see, the cherry blossoms were out in force.

At the top of the mountain we found a great view of Seoul (though hazed by
the 황사) and a little surprise:

But that wasn't all. We followed Mr. Lee around downtown Seoul for the rest of the day, and he gave us all kinds of interesting insights into Korean history, politics, and theology. I was thrilled to finally see some interesting architecture.

The night photos aren't very good, but you can at least see a bit of the downtown area. There's a lot of "downtown" in Seoul, but this is the cool looking part.

Everland (2)

2009-04-09T17:49:00.000-04:00

The biggest deal at Everland is the T-express.

Above is a Youtube video for your reference. For coaster-newbies Lewis and self, it was possibly the most horrifyingly frightening experience ever. Here is the before and after commentary from Lewis, his co-teacher Hyelim and me.

Everland (1)

2009-04-08T18:46:00.000-04:00

Wednesday was a day off in lieu of elections in the Gyeonggi Province and Lewis and I went with some of his fellow teachers to Everland.

More too come...

I-talian cafe

2009-04-04T18:59:00.000-04:00

For those of you who care about such things: it tasted like a fairly long shot (as though the barista took a bathroom break at some point during the pull). It had the barest impression of crema - more like the faint Socratic recollection of crema wanting for maieutic assistance. The flavor profile successfully recreated a "Nyquil and vinegar" sensation, and the mouth feel was predominantly "orthodontic." Lingering in the finish were notes of cardboard, anxiety, and fermented Ramen.

downtown

2009-04-04T18:48:00.000-04:00

this was too ethnic not to catch on tape.

seoul

2009-03-31T18:44:00.000-04:00

downtown uijeongbu

2009-03-31T18:30:00.001-04:00

This big shop center of Uijeongbu. Many shoppings in Uijeongbu. We take cab vere cheap for two person, just 4000 KRW , go many kilometers. Lewis buy french press at Home Plus for his Happy Moshu Palace.

Home Plus like five-story tall Wal-Mart with more things. We dream more better.

chopsticks

2009-03-29T02:18:00.000-04:00

agency

2009-03-21T03:44:00.001-04:00

When your spirit writhes in angst and you lack the will to live...

education2

2009-03-18T04:45:00.000-04:00

Twice a week the kids get to watch Mr. Rose forget song motions on the school's CC TV. Is this appropriate for children? We report, you decide.

Notably neglected was a proper address of the racial inappropriateness of this particular song.

I edited this way down because the whole thing is really long and horribly boring (ten minutes). That's my trusty and adorable co-teacher Ji-Hyun speaking Korean. Note her growing but tempered annoyance at my bungling. I've made her life exactly fourteen times more difficult.

education

2009-03-17T09:13:00.001-04:00

Lest anyone question that there is actual education happening here, behold. My kids are learning some pretty serious stuff. Please note the subtly unfolded story arc.

Naturally, this opens the field to much profound discourse. In what way does the existential release of the robot affect Mr. Rose's later (and greater) confrontation of the monkeys? The weaknesses in the plot (e.g. could the sleepless and played out Mr. Rose really chase down a presumably well-rested crazy monkey?) simply direct attention more fully to the overarching metaphysical concerns being presented.

Unfortunately, the crazy monkeys had to be edited out of the final cut. But believe me, that's how it really happened.

mnemonics

2009-03-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

http://www.lewisknundrum.com/move.mp3

bacon

2009-03-15T00:08:00.000-04:00

it was good.

coffee

2009-03-14T09:21:00.000-04:00

This is a bit old, but why not post it? (not much happens here)

...the inaugural voyage of our dear Duplex coffee maker. This is before we got the adaptor to use the grinder, so we had to choke down some narsty SBC French roast. We have since obtained an adaptor, and are being spoiled silly by some of Chicago's finest. Thanks Kristin.

underground mall, etc.

2009-03-14T08:52:00.000-04:00

At Lewis' apartment, in the midst of creativity.

At the underground mall coffee shop, DaVinci's.

We learned several Korean words here.

fan mail

2009-03-13T05:28:00.001-04:00

after church

2009-03-10T05:25:00.001-04:00

breakdown of the ecclesiastical festivities (not actually that interesting)

after church

2009-03-08T04:44:00.000-04:00

Brief commentary on the world's largest church located in Seoul. CLARIFICATION: The service itself was not HUGE (a several thousand people, give or take), but they have tons of affiliate churches that are included in membership. Plus, the main campus alone has seven services on Sunday.

before church

2009-03-08T04:36:00.000-04:00

http://www.davidcho.com/NewEng/Default.asp

AOG Church, largest in the world I believe. The proper name is Yoido Full Gospel Church.

School

2009-03-05T16:58:00.000-05:00

School

2009-03-05T16:48:00.000-05:00

This is my podium of wisdom, from which I shape the pliable young minds.

more uploads

2009-03-05T05:46:00.000-05:00

dis is da place. The big city-looking area in the distance is the shopping district in Uijeonbu, and the small shoppy-looking part is the main street of our neighborhood.

Transit

2009-03-05T05:21:00.000-05:00

Uijeongbu

2009-03-04T03:17:00.000-05:00

Here are some pics of my nifty new dwelling. On Friday I arrived Incheon International Airport (one of two or three international airports near Seoul) and made it through customs without a hitch. I met up with the other English teachers, and some people from Global Campus (the 3rd part placement agency) helped transport us to Uijeongbu. The Global Campus workers were pleasant, but a little frazzled. They said they had been working for 20 hours straight bringing in new teachers. It took about forty-five minutes by car to make the trip. Providentially, Lewis and my respective schools are within walking distance. Our apartments are less than a block apart.

Our co-teachers met us there. Not only do the co-teachers share teaching duties, but they are also responsible to help us with just about anything we need. My co-teacher Ji-Hyun arrived first, literally running up to the parking lot to meet us all out of breath. If the two guys from Global Campus were frazzled, our co-teachers looked ready for a nervous breakdown. Ji-Hyun was extremely worried that I wouldn't be happy with the housing arrangements, and I tried extravagantly to explain how my expectations had already been surpassed. But this type of concern seems typical of Koreans, at least in their dealings with us.

On Saturday, Lewis and I set out an The Great Korean Transit Adventure. Lewis' luggage didn't made it in on his plane, so we decided that was as good an opportunity as any to test our our navigational chops. Our kind guru at the PC-club (I don't know his name - he's the owner of the nearby internet cafe) gave us a map of the subway. Through dumb luck, some kind Koreans along the way, and mostly the grace of God we made it. The Korean equivalent of CTA is exactly 10 times nicer. It's faster, smoother, cleaner, and some trains even have heated seats. The airport was shinier than O'Hare. These people here have really got their collective acts together.

worldview

2009-02-18T22:29:00.000-05:00

Guy: Hey, good to see you!

Girl: Oh, hi. What's that you have with you?

Guy: This? Oh this is my new Weltanschauung. You like it?

Girl: It's very... nice. What do you do with it?

Guy: Ha, what DON'T I do with it! It's so much bigger and better than my last one.

Girl: I'm going to see a movie with some friends. You want to come?

Guy: Oh yes! Maybe my Weltanschauung can interpret the plot for us.

**thoughtful pause**

Girl: Actually I don't think there's anything good showing today.

Guy: Oh well. My Weltanschauung is kinda heavy anyways, I don't want to lug it all the way over there.

Girl: I think I might just go home.

Guy: Can I come over?

Girl: Sure, if you want.

Guy: Well, maybe I'll just stay here with my Weltanschauung. It's raining outside and I don't want it to get all wet.

Why I Need Friends

2009-02-10T07:33:00.000-05:00

No one identifies the "self" in a vacuum. There's an intrinsic necessity for outside influence in order for one to define internal existence. There's a “we” component to existence that isn't subsidiary; rather the "I" is more a corollary of an understood "we." A person can't be individuated without a larger social context in which the distinction becomes apparent. “I” as I am now and as I see myself to be, am not defined apart from the other individuals with whom I exist. I don't believe a human being can psychologically bear the weight of existence when turned in completely upon itself. That is, there's internal necessity for outside grounding; one needs a footing in time and space against which existence can be felt. One doesn't feel Self suspended in existence without contact against other beings. If the self is sensed in isolation, the perception is vague and inaccurate at best.

Nietzsche and Passivity

2009-02-08T14:56:00.000-05:00

Nietzsche was really into proactivity –assertive, individual morality determined by an inner strength of will – as opposed to reactivity –a passive morality which only responds but never directs of its own volition. Honestly, it's refreshing to read The Geneology of Morals for a change of pace. Say what you will about Nietzsche, he picks apart the flaws of Christians with relentless precision. Note, I'm not saying the flaws of Christianity itself. But he gets to the heart of moral passivity (decadence), which is the refusal to exercise one's will.

In a nutshell, “turning the other cheek” is ultimate passivity, the clearest exhibition of “sin” in Nietzsche's estimation. Well he can't be right there, because Jesus told us to turn the other cheek. Fair enough, we'll concede that Nietzsche's reading of the gospel's was flawed at best. But all truth is God's truth, so let's not give up on Nietzsche yet, if for no other reason than he's pretty fun to read.

Jonathan Edward's famously rearcticulated (and improved upon) Augustine and Luther's “bound will” arguments. He said people are free to choose what they want the most. Out of sheer laziness, I'll quote John Gerstner summarizing Edwards' position instead of doing it myself:

“Your choices as a rational person are always based on various considerations or motives that are before you at the time. Those motives have a certain weight with you, and the motives for and against reading a book, for example, are weighed in the balance of your mind; the motives that outweigh all others are what you, indeed, choose to follow.”

I'm not sure who would feel more awkward by this comparison, Edwards or Nietzsche, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say they're not all that different. Sorry guys, I know it makes you squirm. And seriously? Wasn't Edwards all into compatibilistic determinism, and Nietzsche all into human autonomy? Yes, yes, I know. And I'm not saying they're identical –they're conclusions are entirely opposite. But I'll take a chance and assert their underlying motivation is basically the same.

Nietzsche's theme was the pure assertion of will, and general rocking-awesomeness. “Do whatever you will, but first be such as are able to will.” The will is truth. Unapologetic. Fearless. His beef with Christianity (apart from a general dislike of anything good) was the absurdity of willing against oneself. Christianity's “take up your cross” message was weakness. The passivity of choosing against one's own existence undermines the will to live. What kind of twisted motivation is this? That Jesus would allow himself to be killed, even choose it, indicated to Nietzsche an offensive decadence beyond comparison. How weak God must be to choose death at the hands of his creation. How is that a good thing? For Nietzsche's underlying motive was his own self-interest. In Christianity he saw a deep-seated fear of one's own self-interest. Christianity promotes shame, guilt, remorse, and a lack of self-confidence. Christianity fails to see or understand self-interest, and in doing so gives birth to nihilism.

Where Edwards and Nietzsche ring harmoniously is this: man is motivated by self-interest. Here's where their discord is blatant: the only independent and unbound self-interest is God's, and Nietzsche foolishly refuses to accept this. Nietzsche figured God must be otherworldly, detached and disassociated from the world – basically useless. That Christianity's God-man was killed only confirmed this for him. I don't think Nietzsche ever came across Edwards' Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. Maybe he would have thought differently if he'd pictured the flames of hell licking at his heels. Maybe he'd have reconsidered his indictment of Christian morality had he been aware that the unsuppressed will of Übermensch was vividly personified in the wrathful God he'd spent his life mocking. Probably not, but who knows?

I'm not at all offended by Nietzsche's caricature of sissy-man Christians. I agree with him in a lot of respects, and don't think it's “good” or “equitable” to live in passivity and weakness. Perhaps he wasn't far off in criticizing the ascetics and mystics for their lily-livered version of God-fearing. Or maybe he didn't quite understand their motivation or the tenuous circumstances of his own existence.

So what about this turning the other cheek thing? Weak, right? Sure, on one hand it's easy to see his point about passive existence. “Turning the other cheek” could be a rejection of self-interest, a “decadent” passivity that eats away at the soul. This could be no more true than if it were the ultimate force of will, God himself, rejecting his own existence. And it would be true of Christ on the cross had he only been executed. If he'd been arrested because of poor choices or bad timing, or (worse) weakness, Nietzsche would be right. But Christ did not passively submit himself to the wills of lesser men. He actively submitted, and submitted himself most fully to the ultimate objective of his own will.

Nietzsche's will is a will unto itself – a will that's propelled only by itself and directed only by itself. Nietzsche famously said “To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.” But if his purpose is only to exercise his own self-interest, how can he be certain he's doing this? What if what his will comes into conflict with his own self interest? For example, if God does exist, Nietzsche's little “will to power” thing would be completely out of line with his self interest. And if this is the case, wouldn't choosing his own active will be choosing against himself?

Because I'm getting myself in a logical knot, I'm going to do what I always do in these situations: I'm whipping out Soren Kierkegaard and plunking him willy-nilly into the center of my argument. Nietzsche never got around to reading Kierkegaard (according to Wikipedia). If he had, he might have learned a thing or two from The Sickness Unto Death. Here the venerable Kierkegaard isn't dealing with the will, but he has the same basic concerns as his existential thought-brother. Kierkegaard cuts to the quick of human despair, the problem of existence. Despair is the natural condition of humanity, not merely a symptom of Christian morality. It permeates our selves, because our selves must relate to themselves and we cannot relate to ourselves perfectly. There's internal disconnect. The only freedom from despair, he says, is to see the self in relation to itself transparently against an absolute self, that is, God.

Here we can change out a few words, and hopefully it will make sense. Nietzsche saw despair only in the failure to exercise the will. Kierkegaard was more perceptive and more realistic. Despair persists in even the fullest exercise of the human will, because the will cannot exercise itself in perfect harmony with itself. The will is internally disconnected from itself – it's unable to will for itself because it is bound in opposition to itself. Edwards would say this is depravity, and I'm right on board with him.

That was my point in regards to purpose being undermined by willing only itself. Edwards and Nietzsche both agree that the will can will whatever it wants. But Edwards also stipulated the will cannot choose what it wants it will. Another way of putting it: you can choose to do what you want, but you can't to choose to want to do something other than what you want to do... Even if that thing is in conflict with your best interest.

Nietzsche was fine with this shortcoming. He figured that by doing his own will he was following the path truest to himself, the most independent exertion of his existence. But it wasn't. Because he embraced his depraved will, he also embraced despair and destruction. There's nothing active about his morality. Nietzsche's so-called “will to power” is just the path of least resistance. Wide is the gate and easy is the way leading to destruction. He's gravity's whipping boy. No, the will can only exercise itself perfectly by submitting to an absolute will. God's.

Nietzsche tried to storm the gates of heaven with his tower of free will. He tried usurp God's morality with his own. Of course he didn't quite make it. Nietzsche was strangled in the twisted circle of his own free will unto itself. He accounted only for a weak God, a passive Platonic God that could only exist within his imagination.

Nietzsche hated Platonism, and next to Christianity his most leering jabs are directed at this school of thought. Christian morality does have the danger becoming Platonic, or worse, Neo-Platonic. The idea there would be “God's will is the ultimate will, and our wills participate in ascending levels of will through contemplation of his will” or something along those lines. That's the sort of thing that Nietzsche was opposed to. He thought it was stupid to try to participate in some higher being from another world. Nietzsche's philosophy was interested in immanence. And I like that. Platonic influence is bad: the floaty, flaky stuff, the wishy-washy moralism of “ideals.” It's surreal, it's weak, it's dissatisfying.

This is where Nietzsche is valuable to us, and where a generous reading of Genealogy of Morals deconstructs a lot of Platonic synchrotism within Christianity. God's morality is not merely a morality of ideals. It is very real, and very immanent. God's will isn't detached from his creation – it's not otherworldly. It powers the world. The driving force of God's will moves the world. The world itself is singed around the corners by his wrath. We're dangling from a thread, we are, and God's indomitable will is the only power that can save us.

Christianity isn't passivity. It's an exercise of will in submission to God. The Christian actively submits the will, and aligns it with Absolute Will. It's not an abstract, mystical ideal of will either. It's real. It drives the world around. Christian morality doesn't choose weakness when taking up the cross. Far from it. The Christian chooses truly enlightened self-interest. The Christian wills to live, beyond the weakness of depravity and despair, in the immanent will of God. This is real pro-activity, real freedom.

Aspirations

2009-02-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

Jack Churchill is the man.

I'm Fine Now

2009-02-01T03:02:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was given fairy AND angel guardians for my Korean travels. I was also told I have a going-away present forthcoming via psychic communication. I doubt a first time ESL teacher has ever been so prepared.

I hope the fairies actually stick around. I mean, really, nothing's more encouraging than fairies. I'm sure the angels will help a lot too. Though if they're Christian angels they might be a little wierded out that the Goddess is watching over me.

Anyway, barring an inter-deity dispute I should be good to go.

Various Theories and Beliefs Regarding Women

2009-02-01T01:22:00.000-05:00

The history and world-wide extent of woman-lore provide complex and fascinating studies. This mythology extends far, permeating arts and culture almost universally. Who hasn't heard songs and stories of womanly creatures? Who hasn't imagined wild fantasies of Succubi, Sabines and sirens? What prince hasn't dreamed endlessly of a “princess?” Who among us can say he hasn't seen a womanish being out of the corner of his eye at some late and foggy hour? Myths pertaining to women are arguably the most commonly recurring and varied fairy-tales in all of history. Almost every human culture and sub-culture has its own version of the woman, from the Judeo-Christian creation account of Eve to the Navajo myth of Áłtsé asdząąn. Societies spin their tales with varying amounts of seriousness and satire or terror and treachery. But the basic features of this creature are surprisingly consistent.

With brown, soft hair close braided by her ears,
And longing eyes half veiled by slumberous tears
Like bluest water seen through mists of rain:
Pale cheeks whereon no love hath left its stain,
Red underlip drawn in for fear of love,
And white throat, whiter than the silvered dove

The woman was conceived as a “fe-male” counterpart to man. Women are typically human, but endowed with vastly different characteristics making them infinitely more beautiful and physically attractive. The idealistic form of these characteristics varies from culture to culture.

Even a cursory survey of the arts show the various legends and beliefs surrounding women to be widespread. The body of music and poetry composed to describe womanly beauty and the woes that perpetually follow it is a remarkable collection.

It was on that day when the sun's ray
was darkened in pity for its Maker,
that I was captured, and did not defend myself,
because your lovely eyes had bound me, Lady.

It is important to note the progression and turns of woman mythology throughout history. Debates as to the categorization and classification of women have spawned hundreds of sub-genres within the larger context of this mythology. However, it is generally accepted that most womanlore has evolved from two basic traditions of “goddesses” and “demonesses.” Carl Jung argued that these respectively embody man's greatest desires and fears. The goddess (or good woman) is what man wants, the object on which he wishes to place his affection and love. The demoness on the other hand (also called succubus) is the personification of all horror and disgust. Part of the terror of a demoness is that it is often indistinguishable from a goddess. Woman literature deals with the subject of men trying to discern between the two and the horrible mistakes that inevitably result. In every woman tale, men are found enslaved by their passionate desires for women.

Holistic philosophy tends to view womanology as a necessary polarization that takes place within humanity. Woman exists within the realm of humanity yet is essentially different from man. It's a view of “unified diversity.” Woman's place as an opposite counterpart to man plays a huge role in Sumerian creation mythology, representing a balancing force of nature as it does in Eastern mysticism.

In ancient times, the depictions of women were typistic and ethereal. In the earliest recorded histories women represented ideals or strong feelings. Attic Greece envisioned Artemis and and Athena. These personified love and wisdom respectively. Basic woman archetypes were propelled into the succeeding Roman culture and find similar counterparts in Norse legends as well. Additionally, areas of unexplored science were given womanly attributes. The Mesopotamian cultures each had a version of the “moon goddess.” Various stars were considered to be heavenly women and the spirits of women were said to haunt the rivers and forests. In addition to ascribing the highest affections and desires to womanly creatures, people often attributed their shortcomings and conflicts to them as well. The Genesis account of the Fall of Man is the primary example. Horrific creatures such as Lilith and Medusa (demonesses) are examples of base womanly conceptions. At other times, human conflict is depicted as a contest over the highest ideal of woman, such as Helen of Troy or Guenevere. In these stories, the idea of woman as representative of “unified diversity” is quite clear. The woman is the source or center of conflict, providing an explanation and an underlying meaning for the conflicts and miseries that are encountered by humanity.

It is interesting to note the contrasting parallels between the evolution of woman myth and philosophical thinking. With scientific progress, it has become increasingly common to portray women in a very human light. “Love encounters” with womanly creatures were always an essential part of the lore. But following the Renaissance, the focus on woman was less on her otherworldly aspects and more her physical presence. Some argue that this is simply because womanology in Western culture had diversified in its mainstream development. However, others counter that this trend is directly related to the changing perspectives of humanism and rationalism. These formative ideals are clearly evident in the writings of Petrarch and Shakespeare. In modern times, tales of woman are relayed far less mystically and in a more “earthy” tone and manner. The commoner elements of human life are explored with the imaginative input of women. Some writers have gone as far as to explore the supposed psychological realm of women. The 19th century novel “Jane Eyre” is a classic example. Highly complex and human emotions are portrayed from the standpoint of a woman. The attempt to “rationalize” woman into existence is evident everywhere. The writings of Descartes and the Enlightenment thinkers are the fruit of their inability to resolve the discontinuity between rational knowledge of nature and the irrational desire for woman's existence.

What would I have to give you if I married you!
Do you need oil or garments for your body!
Do you lack anything for food or drink!
I would gladly feed you food fit for a god,
I would gladly give you wine fit for a king,

The bulk of literature and music have dealt in some measure with this struggle. There are still occasions where some bold artist or writer will attempt a more realistic piece and avoid adding the presence of women to the story. (Examples of this would be the 1963 film “The Great Escape,” Solzhenitsyn's novel “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich,” and many of the woodcuts by Albrecht Dürer). However, the whole of artistic achievement is so uniformly centered around the concept of these creatures that visiting an art gallery or listening to popular music might easily lead one to assume they actually exist, or did at some earlier point in history.

Womanology plays an important role in Christianity as well. The Roman Catholic and Orthodox Churches limited any recognition of womanology to vague abstractions such as the Virgin Mary and a few loosely espoused biblical narratives. In contrast, the Protestant Church is considerably more tolerant of realistic portrayals, both in the Bible and in popular culture. Some theologians contend that the Apostle Paul's admonition that “women should not speak” is figurative language aimed at keeping discussion of womanology out of corporate worship. Paul's comments that it is “good to remain unmarried” do indicate that he sees spiritual communion with God to be a much higher ideal than the creatures of man's imagination. It goes without saying that the frequent mention of women throughout the Bible has led many scholars to question the historical accuracy and reliability of scripture. However, most conservative scholars would assert that these descriptions are purely figurative and metaphorical.

The Islamic religion forbids tales of women walking on the earth. The Muslim faith has no tolerance for these fairy-tales. However, womanology still finds its way into Islam's eschatology. The idea of women is held up as something eternal and transcendent. The Koran includes descriptions of “vestal virgins” as part of the heavenly reward for devout believers.

As aforementioned, the Jewish tradition has been highly formative in womanology, particularly with the Genesis account of Eve and the apocryphal stories of Lilith.

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food
and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom,
she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her,
and he ate it.

The continued and widespread belief in women has led to scientific inquiries into the possibility of their existence, particularly with advances in space travel over the past fifty years. In fact, at its inception the NASA program was often satirized by critics as a “wild woman hunt.” This was vehemently denied, but later private documentation revealed “research into the possible existence of women” to be a serious concern of government officials. While these efforts may seem laughable, a recent Gallop poll shows that a large percentage of the population “believes fervently in the existence of women.” In all corners of the world, men speak of hoping to“go out” with a woman (a contemporary expression for encountering a woman alone). As many as 23 percent of all men assert to having encountered a woman at some time. These accounts are most prevalent among uneducated rural peoples, though a surprising number of respected religious and political figures have made similar claims.

The perpetuation of stories about woman creatures clearly demonstrates a consistent psychological trend among human beings. In all religions, races, and social stratas the legend of woman lives on. The congenial human relationships afforded by life are ultimately un-fulfilling and man continues in pursuit of deeper intimacy and more intense expressions of affection. Visions of women take shape behind all sorts of fantastic and wistful dreams of love. At it says in Genesis, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Stories of women are clearly symbolic of this kind of relational-existential quandary. It has been argued that man would not have survived as a people-group without this continued belief in the existence of woman. With the positive strand of “goddess” mythology, the ideal of woman gives him fortitude and yearning hope. With the negative “demoness” branch of woman-thought, man sighs with relief that his worst nightmare has not come true.

The pearly lustre of the moon went out:
The mossy banks and the meandering paths,
The happy flowers and the repining trees,
Were seen no more: the very roses' odors
Died in the arms of the adoring airs.
All- all expired save thee- save less than thou:
Save only the divine light in thine eyes-
Save but the soul in thine uplifted eyes.
I saw but them- they were the world to me!

Special thanks to Oscar Wilde, Petrarch, whoever wrote the Epic of Gilgamesh, JEDP, and Poe.

Winter Riders

2009-01-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

Today's thermometer reading peaked at -2 degrees. Meteorologists are all gawking solemnly and everyone else has assumed martyr-ish expressions. I consider myself able enough to handle sub-zero temperatures and I laugh at you, blob of winter apparel with unbending arms and legs. I laugh at you people who wish you'd assumed the blob form before leaving your houses – your shoulders are going to hurt from scrunching.

I do feel superior to the winter laity but there's a class of beings with heads held high above the rest of us, blobs and pseudo-blobs alike. It's a group of tempered warriors with grit-lined backbone and fire-enforced bloodlines, a round table of knights, a sacred priesthood of the heroes. I refer, of course, to the Winter Riders. Oh, we've seen the fair weather hipsters with their thin legs and tight pants. We've seen them pedal scornfully through congested summer traffic on fixed gears and European frames. And we see them now, driving Passats, slouched in shame behind fogged windows.

The Winter Riders are a different breed. They rode unnoticed in summer heat, in spring rains, in autumn leaves and in the light snow of early December. Their wide tires didn't win them any races or social leverage. Now they are gods among us.

Today I saw one near the southern edge of Wicker Park. He rode like a Cossack on the Steppes. He was girded head to toe in GORE-tex, his was face grim and blazed with frost-bite. His eyes were like ice-picks. Wind blew, and cold as I was I knew he felt it more intensely than I could imagine. There were icicles in his beard and tears frozen to his blistered cheeks. He went on his way, and soon after I saw a female of similar composure. Red-faced but unflinching, she pedaled steadily past cars embalmed in snowbanks and shuffling blobs on the sidewalk. Her cracked lips voiced no complaint. This was no burka-wearing subservient of winter; she was a queen. I'm amazed by these people, these forces of will, superbeings, whatever they are.

If you are one of them, welcome to my pantheon of idols. I wish I could join you, but I don't see myself shoveling out the old cruiser that's frozen to my patio. I don't see myself trying to thaw the U-lock with a hair-dryer or a heated key either. I especially don't see myself facing down an Arctic headwind whilst maintaining balance on a street that's covered in ice and pot-holes. Winter Riders, I bow to your superiority. I still laugh at you blobs.

My silence apparently undermines my existence

2008-10-31T12:40:00.000-04:00

I should probably say something then... but who am I to speak if I don't actually exist? Should NOT one exist first - I'm in a chicken and egg situation already, and I can't get out...